About Me

My photo
Hasan Malik is a master of awkward moments and creating unnecessary pauses... being normal is so boring. Trust me I've tried being average it's just not for me. So please join in moments of awkward platypusness and itchy souls because it's good for your health. Random is the name of the game. Internet, Check ✓

Friday, August 27, 2010

Love My Berta and Rosie Early in the Mornin


So this morning I found myself laying in the bed not really wanting to get up. Just being lazier than I shoulda been since I's got's stuff ta get done. I finally got up but then was moving slower than one who has stuff to get finish should be moving. Then I came across a video that a fellow blogger and dope photographer (shameless plug>>>check him out http://sirrealphoto.blogspot.com/) Mr. WordSmith had posted from August Wilson's 'Piano Lesson', and it got me thinking of how no more than sixty years ago black men didn't have the luxury to choose to be lazy and lay in bed just a few more hours. And I shouldn't be taking opportunity for granted. So I been getting work done and playing these songs all morning to keep me going and to be my reminder of what my people went through, but also to realize how even in the hardest of times they still were able to create something so beautiful.

Berta, BertaBerta, Berta

Go ahead and marry don't ya wait on me
oh, ha
Go ahead and marry don't ya wait on me
Well now
Might not want ya when I go free
oh, ha
Might not want ya when I go free
Well now
Oh Alberta, Berta, oh, Lord gal, oh ha,
Oh Alberta, Berta, oh, Lord gal, well now (2x)

Raise em up higher let em drop on down (2x)

Well, don't know no difference When the sun goes down (x2)

Well, Berta in Meridian And she livin' at ease(x2)

I'm on ol Parchment, got ta, work on lead

Oh Alberta, Berta, oh, Lord gal, oh ha,
Oh Alberta, Berta, oh, Lord gal, well now (2x)

When you marry don't-ya marry a farming man
Every day a Monday hoe-hammer in your hand

When you marry, marry a railroad man
Every day a Sunay dollar in your hand

Oh Alberta, Berta, oh, Lord gal, oh ha,
Oh Alberta, Berta, oh, Lord gal, well now (2x)


Early in the Mornin'

Early in the Mornin'

Well, it's early in the mor--in the mornin'
Baby, when I rise, Lordy mama,
Well, it's early every mor--in the mornin'
A-baby when I rise well-a.
Well-a, when I rise, well-a,
Well-a it's early in the mor-in the mornin'
Baby, when I rise, Lordy baby,
You have-it's I have a misery, Berta,
Wa-, in my right side, well-a,
R-in-a my right side, Lordy baby,
R-in-a my right side, Lordy sugar.
Well it's I have a misery, Berta,
R-in a my right side, well-a.

CHORUS:
Well-a, it's-a, Lordy, Ro-Lordy-Berta,
Well, it's Lord (you keep a-talkin'), babe,
Well, it's Lord, Ro-Lordy-Rosie,
Well, it's, o Lord, Gal, well-a.

Well-a, whosonever told it, that he told a-
He told a dirty lie, babe.
Well-a, whosonever told it, that he told a-
He told a dirty lie, well-a.
Well-a, whosonever told it, that he told a-
He told a dirty lie, babe.
Well the eagle on the dollar-quarter,
He gonna rise and fly, well-a.
He gonna rise and fly, sugar.
He gonna rise and fly, well-a.
Well the eagle on the dollar-quarter,
He gonna rise and fly, well-a.

(Chorus)

Well, rocks 'n gravel make-a,
Make a solid road, sugar.
Well-a, it takes-a rocks-a, gravel make-a--
To make a solid road, well-a.
It takes-a rocks-a, gravel make a--
To make a solid road, well-a.
It takes a good-lookin' woman to make-a--
To make a good-lookin' whore, well-a,
It takes a good-lookin' woman, Lord, Baby,
To make a good-lookin' whore, Lord, sugar,
It takes a good lookin' woman to make-a,
To make a good lookin' whore, well-a.

(Chorus)

Boys, the peckerwood a-peckin' on the--
On the schoolhouse door, sugar.
Well, the peckerwood a-peckin' on the--
R-on the schoolhouse door, well-a.
Well, the peckerwood a-peckin' on the--
On the schoolhouse door, sugar.
Well he pecks so hard, Lordy, baby,
Until his pecker got sore, well-a,
Until his pecker got sore, Lordy, baby,
Until his pecker got sore, Lord, sugar.
Well he pecks so hard, Lord, mama,
Until his pecker got sure, well-a.

(Chorus)

Well, hain't been to Georgia, boys, but,
Well, it's I been told, sugar.
Well, hain't been to Georgia, Georgia.
But, it's I been told, well-a.
Well, haint been to Georgia, Georgia.
But, it's I been told, Lord, mama.


Rosie

Rosie

Be my woman, gal, I be your man,
Be my woman, gal, I be your man,
Be my woman, gal, I be your man.
Every day is Sunday´s dollar in your hand.
In your hand, Lordy, in your hand.
Every day is Sunday´s dollar in your hand.
Stick to the promise, gal, that you made me.(3x)
Wasn´t gonna marry me till-a I go free,
I go free, Lordy, I go free,
Wasn´t gonna marry me till-a I go free.

Chorus: Wo -- Rosie, o Lord, gal, Wo -- Rosie, o Lord, gal.

When she walks, she reels and rocks behind,

When she walks, she reels and rocks behind,

Ain´t that enough to worry convict´s mind.

Ain´t that enough to worry convict´s mind.

Chorus: Wo -- Rosie, o Lord, gal, Wo -- Rosie, o Lord, gal.

Be my woman, gal, I be your man, (3x)

Every day Sunday´s dolar in your hand. (Chorus)

It's not the physical shackles that scare me...signing off
till next time
stay random

Internet, check ✓

Monday, August 16, 2010

I've Gotta Awkwardly Get this Off My Chest


Alright people let's talk about this for a second. Because honestly I'm disappointed in all of us right about now. I had to take a long hard look in the mirror today and ask myself what was really going on. Am I really letting myself get swept up into the frenzy of it all? I've worked very hard over the years to stand alone or at least stand with the few who dared to be different. Following the crowd has never been cool, come on now awkwardness all day, right? So you have to understand the shameful place that I found myself in earlier today.
Now people I have to warn you, that there is a demon out there, a demon whose sole purpose is to destroy as many of us as it can. And trust me this is a force far more powerful than anything I've seen in a long time! Stronger than them cocaine filled "4 Locos" that come in convenient negro loving flavors like "Watermelon" and "Orange Stuff". It's even worst than suddenly realizing that you've been humming "short bus shawty" at random moments throughout the day. The evil force that I speak of is known as WSHH a.k.a. "World Star Hip Hop.com". Now I've known about the existence of this website for some time now, but never really needed to visit it for anything major, I was always able to find things pretty fine on Youtube when I needed to. So when a very beautiful young lady (who I hold completely responsible for my addiction to the site) introduced me to the website you can image the shock that it had on my system. Never have I visited a place that just had page after page of niggerdom at it's finest moments. Without fail you can count on WSHH to have some video of some random group of African American youth in some lower income area, brawling in the streets pulling out eachothers hair and defecating on themselves. And if that's not your twist you've got a pretty much guaranteed chance of seeing a video of Gucci Mane's newest video of the hour about sex, money, and jibberish all filmed in the same strip club as all his other videos. And for some strange god awful reason you can almost always find porn star "B. Pumper" aggressively rapping (more like yelling) about having violent sex....(really though Brian?!? Like nobody knows that already...you just gotta make song after song about it???). It's really quite terrifying if you look at the number of hits some of these videos get in the matter of seconds of them being posted. And it's really like crack!!! Those of you familiar with this website know exactly what I'm talking about, you sit down at your computer and tell yourself "Ok, I'ma just watch a few videos you know get a lil chuckle on then I'll go do something productive with my life...WRONG!!!! Nothing productive ever comes after WSHH!!! It's an oxymoron, it doesn't happen!!!, the website just takes and takes and takes until you look up and realize you're whole life just passed you by!! (I'm sorry I'm having a lil moment here, this website has gotten me all emotional, you know. Ms. Wallace I blame you!!)
But you know what it's really not my place to judge, if its entertaining and people enjoy it. Then who am I to really tell individuals what the should and shouldn't be doing with their time. But we do have to understand what it's doing to us, it's changing us. We are becoming desensitized by the nonstop ignorance. And I'm scared, I am so scared to see what we're becoming.
So what actually sparked this whole rant (in case you were wondering), was a young man who I happened to stumbled upon by the name of Antonio Henderson-Davis, some of you may know him as 50 Tyson. Now I'll admit when I first watched one of his videos I couldn't stop laughing, it was ridiculous the things he was saying, too much for my senses. I wasn't sure if he was being serious or not, it very much reminded me of a Lil B video (who I'm still determined can't possibly be serious. A "Pretty Bitch" though?!?! How do you possibly feel proud about coming up with this stuff???). So I had my laughs, I thought it was hilarious that he couldn't remember what number comes after 16, like this was brilliant. Or that apparently at the beginning and end of every video we are asked to go to the stores and pick up a clearly non-existent cd. But then something clicked for me in the middle of reading the comments, watching the parodies by Kevin Heart and other youtubers. I realized that this boy is clearly autistic and is trying very hard to express himself. And the sad thing is the he actually sounds like he could fit right in on a mixtape with Wacka Flocka Flame, OJ Da Juice Man, and Gucci Mane Laflare. The only difference is that this kid has an actual reason for sounding the way that he does. So I had to ask myself is this what we've become? Energy sucking monsters? Because that's what all the laughing and jokes do, they drain, like vampires (or as Kanye used to say "Dream Killers"). Have we really gotten to the point where we are making fun of autism? And the crazy part of it, is that through it all 50 Tyson has stayed so positive, he's constantly talking about how people keep calling him ugly, and he says "but it's your personality that really counts, whats on the inside". I mean really people what are we doing? And I'm not pointing the finger at anyone, because as I said I had to check myself too. But we've gotta do better than this, this is all just mob mentality from high school laughing at a mentally challenged kid to make ourselves feel better. We have to ask ourselves, why? What is World Star doing to us? Why am I really watching a boy beat the shit out of his elderly bus driver? Why did I really just sitting through 3 mins and 39 secs of a 4 year old boy rapping and cursing like Gucci Mane? Why is it that Victor Steen a 17 year old boy get's tasered, ran over, and murdered by a police officer and the first time I'm hearing about it is on World Star?
You know me people I'm never telling anybody what to do, or what to believe in. Today I'm merely begging you to look in the mirror and ask yourself the questions.









The moment we become numb to pain is when we've lost, signing off
till next time
stay random

Internet, check ✓

Monday, August 2, 2010

Where's That Darn Platypus Been?!?


Hello souls of awkwardness, hope that you have been lovely and divine in my absence. I've missed you much, just been caught up in life's lil whirlpool of living. And it's been hard for me to unscramble my thoughts and put them down on this here computer for your viewing pleasure. I do hope that you will be able to forgive me :) So what have I learned in my travels you ask? Well life is full of pot holes and speed bumps, and apparently Triple A takes forever and a lifetime to come out and help, so more than likely you been stuck dealing with it yourself (don't worry fixing a flat builds character). I've learned that although you may want something very badly not always does the universe agree, and sometimes your stuck in the passenger seat mad that you couldn't go to the Justin Bieber concert because gOd had other plans for your evening apparently. So it seems the best solution that I've found is to tuck and roll. I learned that from a guy who jumps out of moving vehicles for a living. He says that no jump is ever the same, always something a lil bit different about each. So there is no predicting how you'll land after this one. All you can do is tuck everything in and roll with it. Let life do with you as it pleases, Because it was gona anyway so why fight it? He proved his point be telling me that most drunk passengers in car crashes tend to get up and walk away from them because they were to wasted to brace themselves and there bodies just flowed with the motion. And normally the most they'll suffer from is a few scratches here and there. Tensing up implies that you believe that you can control your bodies movements in a speeding vehicle that weighs close to 4,000 pounds...come on now don't be silly. Wise words from a stunt man i do believe. But in no way do I want for you to be careless in life and just saying "fuck it, i can't lift a car so why bother?". Thinking wisely still applies, seat belts can still make a difference in the outcome of your collisions. So be smart in your journey through this thing called life, because you'll need it. I've also learned that life can be cute if you let it be. If you're not focusing on all the drawlin shit that keeps happening to you. You just might notice how the universe is also throwing you a lil life line to help you out of it (I know it seems insane to accept a flotation device from the very same one that has you drowning in the first place. But hey who else you gona turn to? Death? Nahh death will come one day for all of us, no need to go looking for it). So pay attention to the beautiful coincidences, remember I told you this, you'll smile when you see one. Hmmm I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to get my awkwardness back, but as a beautiful queen told me earlier today "things happen in their necessary times". So no need to wonder why it's taken so long, just be happy that it came back now and enjoy its presence because think about how you would've felt had it not had come back at all...
I love all of you, all of you who have made this blog possible. I think I'm end this thought stream here and prepare greatness for next one that I'll give you very soon. Just know that I'm always in awkward thoughts even when I'm not here with you. So I'm never far...

Always learning from mistakes means always growing, signing off
till next time
stay random

Internet, check ✓