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Hasan Malik is a master of awkward moments and creating unnecessary pauses... being normal is so boring. Trust me I've tried being average it's just not for me. So please join in moments of awkward platypusness and itchy souls because it's good for your health. Random is the name of the game. Internet, Check ✓

Saturday, February 27, 2010

21 and I'm Black, Jack!!

Hello Kings and Queens, its Saturday night and Im feeling right. Got a lil bit of money in my pockets and Atlantic City is only a forty five minute drive. It only makes sense to hit up the casino's and play some blackjack (it seems appropriate right?). Don't worry I have a designated driver and all that safe junk, so I can act stupid, I can't promise that I wont get locked up for being black and drunk though. So who knows my next entry might be from a holding cell...lol. So the Borgata seems like the place to be tonight, I can get my gamble on then head upstairs to the Roots after party, tonight should be a stupid night!!!
So for those of you who won't be having as much fun tonight, don't fret watch this video while im away it should give you a few chuckles and giggles =)

You don't stay at the top forever, signing off,
till next time
stay random

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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Parallel Universe

In a parallel universe aliens exist and god is just a cover up like Maybelline
...or maybe its not
Big women are considered beautiful and acne is just a really cool phase that teens get to go through
And if they're fly enough the get to have it as adults
Trust me, pimples get the party popped!
Mike Vick was actually making politicians fight and got a Nobel Peace Prize for it
His prize fighter was Dick Cheney because he always gunned straight for the face

In a parallel universe Haiti is not another repeat of Hurricane Katrina
But is a love story, that describes bravery and selflessness and talks about how not one life is more important than the other

In a parallel universe children are raised by both parents
The term "working hard or hardly working" is non existent because people get up at 5:30 in the morning to watch the sun rise with their spouses
Prepare breakfast together to enjoy it with their children
Get dress and are ready to be out of the house by 8 to get to their place of employment by 9 and they are prepared to enjoy their day
And trust me no one is ever "hardly" having fun
Have you ever heard a telemarketer greet you with a smile?
Have you ever seen a garbage man caring another man's trash as if it was his treasure? Whistling dixie with bags of your unwanted items thrown over his shoulder.

In a parallel universe "trickle down economics" actually means that it rains money
So when the weather man predicts it people leave their houses in extra baggy jeans and carry their umbrellas upside down.
Corporations actually cooperate
Minorities are those who have bad days, and we give green cards to those foreign to love

In a parallel universe UGG's actually mean "ugly" and nobody wears them
Women drape their bodies as temples and advertise the thing between both of their temple to get a mate
A man dressed in timberlands, baggy jeans and a white tea is not a suspect, merely an individual who is trying to show you what life looks like from his point of view
A man dressed in a business suit and tie working on the fifty some odd floor off Wall Street more than likely is a suspect and should have a warrant out for his arrest
Because trust me, slavery is how he puts food on his table

In a paralell universe O.J. didn't do it
...ok O.J. mighta done it
.......ok O.J. did it
But then again so did George Bush and they are both serving the time that they deserve
Justice actually applies to just all of us

In a parallel universe we actually did land on the moon, with technology that the Mayans invented
A "bailout" means that you're not owning up to your responsibilities
September 11th 2001 was just another Tuesday in 7th grade where not much happened and I couldn't wait for sixth period lunch

In a parallel universe Biggie just dropped a single call "Death of Auto tunes" featuring his young boy Jay Z
Soulja Boy Tell Em went to college
And sadly enough even sober Lil Wayne still speaks in jibberish

In a parallel universe Nat Turner was the first black president
Emmitt Till made it home from Mississippi in one piece
and Sean Bell got married

Where is this coexisting universe? You may ask
40 miles west of Neverland?

To be honest as far as I know it only exist when my eyes are closed
I mean trust me, I'd love to be able to open them and see more black men in college than in jail
To see New Orleans rebuilt instead of forgotten
But it don't seem to work
And when I ask myself who has the power to change this, I open my eyes and see you
And I realize we need to stop dreaming about what coulda been, and just decide what to do
Because I know that together a strong enough force can change the world in just one night
The past may be the past, but the future is ours to write

in Arabia we'd all be kings, signing off,
till next time
stay random

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Sunday, February 21, 2010

God Can Be Funny

I know, I know, where have I been right? Yea Im sorry just been kicking rocks around life for a lil bit. I'm back now though, well for the moment, See my birthday is tomorrow and I've got fun things to do ya dig. But I promise I'm back for awhile, I guess I just have to learn that this platypus is only human and I can't do everything at once. So I'm turning 21 and I'm thinking bout what that means you know? Its like the chase is over. You know how when you were 14 or 15 and couldn't wait to turn 17 to get your permit. Then till you got your license. Then your 17 and you can't wait to be 18 so you can finally buy lottery tickets and smoke and junk but then it's like now I can't wait till I turn 21 so I can get drunk at bars and fun stuff. But after 21 you realize oh shit now I wana slow down, cuz now 25 and 30 are right around the corner. Lol, shit im closer to 40 than the day I was born, that's harsh. Lol I'll be fine though, just the realization of ones on mortality I guess. I'm slowly no longer aloud to be a kid anymore, more and more people are looking at me to be an adult. Bills are stacking up and I'm really not sure how I'm gona pay for them. But I'm learning that childhood is something that doesn't have to end because a number changes, fun is something that I deserve no matter what age I reach. I plan on being 89 rolling around in the snow with my queen attempting to build and igloo, laughing our way through the arthritis. Age doesn't have to slow you down or make you sad, all it really needs to do is to remind you that one day you get to go on to the next level. But listening to this song is helping me better appreciate my 21st birthday, putting things into perspective ya dig? I hope that you too can take something from this song as well and helps you out as much as it has me...=)
Live Long and Prosper

Laugh at life, laugh at death, signing off,
till next time
stay random

Internet, check ✓